How I Handle Intrusive Thoughts (And Invented The Dumpster)

The role of creativity in my mind has always had a light and a dark side. On the one hand, I have an overactive imagination around horrible things happening. On the other, I have a gift for creative solutions and problem solving. You can't have one without the other in my case.

I trained my brain to identify, embrace and release intrusive thoughts by picturing silly little Thought Monsters, all with their own mountain of flags (more about my system here). These little beings don't appear as visions but can rather be called upon in my mind's eye, as and when an intrusive thought decides to show itself.

This method helped me get back in the driver's seat when it came to intrusive thoughts based on violence and other disturbing imagery. But a few years ago, I found I had need of another mental organisational tool, but this time, for real life monsters.

I call it The Dumpster.

The clue is in the name. I have a dumpster, in my brain, where I temporarily place people that are plaguing me mentally with intrusive negative memories but that I don't want to give an IOTA of my time in the real world. I mentally place them in the dumpster until they no longer bother me.

If you're prone to rumination, this is an excellent way to manage the negative emotions that come with overthinking a situation-ship, a choice gone wrong, someone you're still angry with but haven't figured out the next steps. It's essentially a holding zone where they stay until you know what to do with them. This way at least they're not tap dancing across your brain, but rather sitting in a stinky place being stinky.

Now, the thing about the dumpster is that it is a bit childish. I fully admit, it is petulant and immature to say "you are bothering me, now go into the trash". But if the alternative is:

A: saying something you'll regret or not ready to say

B: ruminating for hours, days, weeks years on this person...

...I'll choose the one that doesn't actually cause harm and gives me a bit of space to process and breathe.

My advice? Don't leave anyone in there forever. Mine is currently empty. It's good to re-visit and as soon as the person doesn't irk you, set them free. They've served their time. When you've moved on, take them out, do a decisive hand-clap dusting-off motion, and move the fuck on. If they're in the dumpster, the truth is that on some level, they still have a certain power over you.

*Please note, this is a metaphorical dumpster, no one is actually going in the trash. That would be really mean.

This is the point. You, in your heart, have been hurt by someone and this someone is a person you're better not trying to argue with: narcissists, people that have had their chance etc. But they still have some sort of emotional hold over you.

Childish? Perhaps. But this is like Sesame Street meets obsessive thinking, and to that I say HURRAH. If it works, it works.

If there's someone in your life that you are done with, in person, but they still plague your mind? Pop them in the dumpster. Then you know where they are (where they deserve to be) and when they surface in your psyche, they just seem... well, a little bit ridiculous you know? Because they're standing in a dumpster. And that's a silly place to stand. You goose.

There's nothing that can top a meaningful conversation about what's truly bothering you in the real world. I think The Dumpster is best reserved for people not in your direct vicinity, but that have a nasty habit of popping into your mind and causing distress by the memory of them or a situation.

Who knows, maybe this is a wacky idea. But anthropomorphizing intrusive thoughts is the reason I'm reasonably mentally stable today, so am I one to judge? Nope. I think not.

So get yourself a dumpster, pop the antagonizing party in there, and when things have cooled, take out the trash and strut your high road into the sunset, mental wellness intact.

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